How Polyamorous Principles Can Help Your Monogamous Relationship

Polyamorists can teach us a lot about love (even if you’re not polyamorous or monogamish)! In fact, monogamists can learn plenty from polyamorous principles. Here’s how applying principles…

Comments

  1. Button up your shirt John, what do you think you’re on Baywatch or
    something? Trying to emulate an Italian? What are you the Fonz now

  2. They’re two completely different things and each factor i.e love, space,
    dependence, communication etc. are concepts that are understood with
    totally different premises by the poly people. It’s easier to be nice and
    overlook the faults of someone when you are not holding them to higher
    standards.
    I don’t wish to learn anything from couples that are polyamorous. I have
    standards.
    Imagine some cuckold dude coming up to you giving you advice on these
    things xD.

  3. Integrating polyamory into our relationship rekindled our marriage after a
    2 year separateion by helping us learn to communicate openly again and
    trust each other again as well.

    There are a lot of misconceptions that all polyamorousts are swingers and
    will happily wife swap.This is very much not true. Even if one is
    interested in someone from the offering couple, the other may not be.

    I will agree that in my experience, many people that claim to believe in
    polyamory are quite deceitful and actually looking to kick others out to
    steal the husband and make it a monigomous relationship, or in some cases a
    separate polyamorous where they have multiple partners but you do not. It
    has been fun, but not always the most postive experience.

  4. Seems like many people were confused about this topic, Brett being one of
    them. This list wasn’t made to convert people into polygamy, it was to help
    people in monogamous relationships with the insight and wisdom someone who
    has sex with more than one person has acquired. 

  5. I met a polygamous family when i was a Mormon as a child and it felt normal
    but i could see the disdain coming from many of the adults. I was like 13
    so i thought it was awesome… They had normal kids that i went to school
    with those kids just happened to have 2 moms and 2 dads.

  6. Alright kids….. Story time now. Gather around and let grandpa tell you
    about his past poly relationship:

    I was in a relationship with someone that I really loved, seriously, I
    adored her. After 6 months she told me that she wanted an open
    relationship. I knew that this is not something that I wanted, but I did it
    anyway to stay with her. After a couple of months of an open relationship,
    I decided to pay more attention to my life, and how this open relationship
    benefits me, so I took advantage of that and had more sex (with other
    girls) in this relationship than I would if I were single. A couple of
    months later, she decides she wants a poly relationship. Grandpa being
    stupid said yes…… I ended up being very rational with my feelings, I
    said to myself that I shouldn’t feel jealous and I rationalized my way out
    of jealousy, then I felt insecure when she got a long term bf, so I
    rationalized my way out of insecurity too. Here is the catch, the same way
    I rationalized jealousy and insecurity, I also rationalized love. I said to
    myself that I loved her, but not in the same way that I did before the
    whole thing started. I loved her for specific reasons, that I wrote down,
    not in the same romantic, I-want-to-stay-with-you-forever way that I used
    to think of.

    She broke up with me after I communicated the new way I look at love. She
    was OK with me rationalizing jealousy, insecurity, and any other feeling
    that got in the way of her fucking other people. She used to describe
    jealousy and insecurity as ‘irrational’. But once I rationalized my undying
    love to her, she got mad and broke up with me.

  7. The same principles are in the BDSM community. #1 being complete honesty.
    Bot polyamory and BDSM demand trust. A lot of trust. And the only way to
    trust is through honesty.

    I am in the BDSM lifestyle. There are lots of poly relationships in the
    lifestyle. I am monogamous, I am in a happy relationship, I know for a fact
    I am not polyamorous, I don’t even want to ”check”. But I know people who
    are very, very happy in poly relationships.

    The main thing that some people miss or don’t understand is the fact
    polyamorous doesn’t mean they sleep with other people. It means they have
    relationships between more than 2 people. They are not ”sleeping buddies”
    or ”friends with benefits”. They care about the other people. They want
    to be happy, to make the other people happy. They might even live together.
    All 3+ of them. And they are happy. They are honest. They trust each other
    and they earn the trust of the others. Even I, as a monogamous woman, do
    appreciate the level of trust and love they have to be able to live the way
    they do. To not get jealous (even if some do).

    In the BDSM lifestyle, some people have these polyamorous relationships
    because they are switches (both submissive and dominant) and they have 2
    partners. A dominant, and a submissive. Because love doesn’t work the way
    you want it to, you don’t always fall in love with the person who can be
    both for you. Or people have significant others, maybe even husbands/wives
    who are not in the BDSM lifestyle, but who do understand it and who are
    fine with the other person having this BDSM relationship that fulfills
    them. That way they don’t cheat, they don’t try to hide themselves, they
    don’t fight with their own fetishes and with the way they are. BDSM is not
    just about fetishes and kinks. I am a submissive. I always have been, I
    just didn’t know how to put it in words. This relationship and this
    lifestyle fulfills me. I can’t imagine myself happy without this. And I
    have been lucky enough to fall in love with a man who fulfills my needs,
    who I trust more than myself, who loves me as much as I love him AND who is
    into the lifestyle.

  8. This is really random. I’d love to be a fly on the wall during the
    discussion where John decided he wanted to do this segment…

  9. You never want to get too close to a person. Because in that place of
    intimacy, you will discover nothing but a terrifying black hole that cannot
    be satisfied by anything whatsoever. And when that absorbing power is
    directed towards you, you will understand what true horror means.

  10. Im pretty sure what brett was trying to say in the first part is that you
    dont have to be in a polyamourous relationship to have other people fulfill
    other needs. Aka guy friends girl friends best friends family whatever.
    If were specifically talking about non sexual related things here which
    seems to be a focal point polyamourous people say to monogamous people its
    not thst nig of a deal. As brett said thats called friendships and if
    people who are monogamous have great friends they are basically exactly the
    same as polyamourous couples minus multiple sex partners.
    

  11. People get bored after a while. It has nothing to do with not caring for
    their partner. If you’re mature enough to handle it its no big deal to have
    sex with someone else. Get a boyfriend and girlfriend or join a swingers
    club like we did. We still prefer each other over anyone else but when we
    get bored or feel like something different we have the club.

  12. I feel that swinging may have originated with older couples.
    It makes sense for a couple with older children, who are still working on a
    future together, could engage in swinging. It could be seen as an open &
    honest, no secrets type of sex.

  13. This video came off as weirdly closed minded to me :/ Nobody’s trying to
    convert anybody to polyamory, and I think people can decide for themselves
    what kinds of relationships they wanna have.

  14. Hear that everyone?!? He’s single! He’s not dating hannah! But the soap
    opera-esque love triangle you’ve all created is hilarious 

  15. Does anyone agree John should have made this video with Hannah ? Also John
    said he is single. He should hook up with Hannah.

Leave a Reply